honestly, this blog is mostly gonna be about yesterday. i was due to make an entry but too stressed and tired so i forgot.
my siblings, mum and aunt all went out to the farm while i stayed home to do some work. i felt like i was missing out. all i can say is, i'm glad that i didn't go?
so my mum and my brother got into a fight, which isn't unusual, but both of them said more hurtful thtings to each other than usual. happens sometimes i guess. everyone came home and was upset, pissed me off so much. but this time my mum refused to talk to any of the others, not even her sister, apart from me? i was genuinely losing it as she talked to me, she kept telling me that my brother was dead to her and that she's glad that i'm her only son and that she's done raising children and if we want to go into foster care we can be her guest. she also, and i hate her so much for this, kept talking about how if my aunt wasn't there she probably would have tried killing him. surely, my brother must've screwed up big time if she's saying all of this shit, right?
i talk to him and we both laugh. all he did was call her a dickhead. she's seriously victimising herself, crying in her room. venting to me about how much she wants to end our family, all because my younger brother called her a good for nothing dickhead????
i swear, this stuff infuriated me so much, she seriously needs to get a reality check. calling her a dickhead? well that's the bare minimum he could have done and i respect him for that. he could have said so much worse. i won't talk about this any more, i'm getting tired.
anyways, about an hour or two after all of that, she goes out and leaves me with my siblings and i try to cook. huge fucking mistake. right there was the second time i've started a fire and this one was well larger than the first. i panicked and fed it, an oil fire, water (it was what was in my hands, okay?) but it quickly died down anyways and i was unscathed lmao. my sister saw the flames though and my brother heard me screaming oh FUCK it's burning so both of them felt as shaken up as i did, my sister cries whenever she hears the word fire so you can imagine how sick she felt seeing the kitchen glow orange for a brief 7 seconds. this is getting too unnecessary but i wanna mention how i was also listening to this hypmic song while everything burnt up. god. imagine if that was my last scrobble ever. embarrassing. MTC themed death.
today was boring so i don't have much to say about it. i'm obsessing over trap of fling again. i really need to watch the hypmic stageplay this summer.
anyways, it's the 20th now. night.